the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
