Barsexuality is the new black.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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