I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
