honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
