I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
