You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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