This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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