Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
