the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
