Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
