ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize