I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
