I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Panties = found
Randomize
