my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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