There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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