Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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