Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
