Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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