We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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