I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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