Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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