I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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