i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
