bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
