he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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