she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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