Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
