There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
