Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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