making cat noises will not fix the situation.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
