im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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