As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
