Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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