I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
