He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
