I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
