she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
