I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
