i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You're like the curious george of whores
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
