Got a toothbrush?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize