he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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