Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
