what if every blade of grass was a penis?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
