So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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