Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize