They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
