Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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