Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
