Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
