I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
