I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
