But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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