Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I had to cum in my sink.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize