Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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