Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
