So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He felt like a one man threesome
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
