I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
