She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
