That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
