Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
