I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
