I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Couch. On fire.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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